Workplace Bullies in Helping Professions

They exist! It is hard to think that in a world where most people choose to serve and help others that toxic work environments exist. I have been silent about this in the past because I was working in environments that had a culture where I did not feel comfortable being open with those in charge because they were enablers of the toxic environment. After experiencing this, I now vow to never again work for a nonprofit unless my family's lives are at stake or the leaders take a firm stance for a positive work culture and do the work to show it.

Property of the Crisis Prevention Institute

Let's clear up some things:

Crisis Prevention Institute defines workplace bullying as persistent and ongoing acts of disrespect directed toward an individual or group.

1. Why are you talking about this Ebone?

October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month. I will be spending much of my time teaching elementary students how to foster love and kindness in order to help them avoid engaging in bullying behavior and to create a culture that is conducive for all students. While this is a priority I recognize that in the professional field both non-helping and helping, there are adults in workplaces and agencies across the world that never received what our children are receiving and they are using their power and control to manipulate and bully their co workers into doing all sorts of things. This is not okay.

2. We are silent about all the wrong things

I am guilty. I wish I would have had more courage to stand up for myself and my co workers who felt silenced by management to go along with their preferences and how they wanted things to go. It is frustrating. On the other hand, the MOST frustrating part is when you take a chance to share how you feel and you either experience backlash or nothing happens. There was a time in one of the jobs I worked, I knew that everything the agency was doing was about funds and money and no longer about the kids we were challenged to serve. The youth there were miserable and being mistreated by staff and other client. All management cared about was filling as many beds as possible and if you didn't agree with the philosophy you could be quiet or get out. I was working 10 hour days at least 3 days a week, with no foreseeable options to work anywhere else (trust me I was looking!). The staff were miserable and felt bulldozed and bullied to do whatever upper management was saying because they need the work too. There were fights basically everyday and we were sending youth to the hospital at least one to two times a week, in which most of them were doing things purposefully so they could get away. It was awful. Everything I mentioned and said was pushed under a rug or ignored. When I was finally given a chance to move to a different area, they shut the program down without informing any of us until after the fact and they manhandled me in returning to my old job in a slightly different capacity. I was miserable. I say this to say silence sometimes seems like the only option and I get it!

3. What can we do about it?

There are two things that stand out to me. One, we need to be more willing to take chances to stand up for ourselves. Something I struggled (still do even on a new job) with consistently was how difficult it was for me to stand up for others when I felt I didn't even have the power to stand up for myself. I had so many people relying on me, but the truth was, I wasn't feeling confident enough to say, "hey, I don't like the way you guys are doing things here." Most of the time I was feeling belittled myself. In most of the non profits that I worked in, there were people in power who pushed their way around to believe what they believed. The most difficult challenge was they made it seem as if they cared about what you thought, but then they would shift and manipulate it to be something totally different.

The second thing I learned is when standing up to a bullies in the workplace, you need to pray first. I have told you all this before, I am a Christian, I love Jesus. This doesn't always translate well in the helping professional world, but I don't care. It took me years before I realized, I need to pray before I have this conversation, before I make this decision, before I confront this person. God truthfully provided me with plans and strategies to better handle certain situations. The truth? It doesn't always go the way you desire, but at the end of the day, when I consult God, He is going to guide me the right way and that is good enough for me.

4. We need to find more allies

Lessons learned from previous workplaces. There are people who are experiencing the same things that you are and have the same positive and growth mindset as you do! Do not let the bullying co workers and counterparts push you into thinking a positive community is causing a negative community. If you have truthfully prayed and have integrity in your intentions, it is okay to form allies with hope that you can create the environment that is accepting and conducive for everyone who works there!

In addition to some of my solutions, here are some really good ones from the Crisis Prevention Institute:

Organizational Leaders should:

• Process complaints fairly.

• Implement training.

Managers and Supervisors should:

• Address concerns and all forms of aggression.

• Walk the talk.

Employees should:

• Communicate.

• If you see something, say something.

You can read this article in full HERE.