When White Privilege is Staring me in the Face AT. MY. JOB.

I mean I was in a meeting, with my boss and my boss is saying things to me that are making me cringe. Like literally my skin is crawling! While he is talking my brain is going in so many different directions and I am having a conversation with myself.........

Should I confront him about this?

Am I misconceiving what he is saying?

How do I handle this situation?

Why do I feel so uncomfortable?

Is it my job to acknowledge how his comments are making me feel?

Is it worth it?

For those in the helping professional field who are not a person of color, if you are getting offended by this post, I need you to first ask yourself....have I ever asked these questions of myself in regards to my race, skin color and/or my culture? If the answer is no, then I am requesting that you hear me out in this to gain a better understanding of how difficult it is to be a person of color in the helping professional field.

One day a coworker and I were discussing our children. I was about 5 or 6 months pregnant with my son at the time and we knew we were expecting a boy. When I revealed this to my coworker we immediately began discussing the difference between having a boy versus a girl. Within the discussion, I revealed to her the hardship I was experiencing within myself in regards to realizing I was assigned to raise a beautiful black boy in the society that we live in today and how hard it was for me to come to grips with that. We continued the conversation and then she went to her office. A couple of days later, she came back to my office and said. "Ebone, I am so sorry!" I was like "for what?" She responded explaining she went home and processed with her husband regarding the comment I had made about my son and realized the weight of what I was expressing and how it didn't even cross her mind, but she realized that it probably something I think about consistently!

These types of conversations are what allow me to feel so hopeful. The dialogue being expressed by my boss were just so discouraging and I felt so tired and disturbed after because his assumptions and bias of an individual were so driven by his own world view and I feared he wouldn't see it the way I saw it. Plus he is my boss. Has anyone ever corrected their boss in this manner before? It is such a dilemma, especially in the helping professional field. Jobs are competitive, it's difficult to find a job as flexible as the one I have. It took me TEN years to make the salary I am making now and it's still not enough.

Fast forward a couple of months later and I no longer work at this place of employment. God blessed me with a new job, making more money and get this, part of our employee training is Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. I now realize, I should have confronted my supervisor. It was my responsibility at the time to be bold and unafraid and ask questions about what he was saying and why he was saying it. I have some regrets. I realize however we are all growing. This helped me to realize that we all deserve grace because that is how God designed life. We have no room to judge and we all have a responsibility to speak up. I am committed to change. Are you?