The Stepping S.T.O.N.E.S. of College Years

College years. The blocks of adulthood some venture into to build their educational book of life. Some start right out of high school, others go back after living adulthood life. Me? I went the fall after high school. 18 years old. Wide eyed and bushy tailed as they say! I swear I thought I knew everything then. I had traveled the world as a military brat and thought I was such a smarty pants. Academically I was mediocre in high school so after taking a career test and matching extremely well with the profession of social work, I chose that as my career path and never looked back. I was surrounded by friends with dreams to become doctors and dentists and professors and biologists. And here I was barely making it in college, not very sold on attending UAB on a mini scholarship for band and kinda solid friendships. Looking back, I was pretty much clueless. I remember watching my parents drive away from the dorm after dropping me off and wanting to run behind them and ask them to take me back home. But that wouldn't have been cool......

So much happened in my first year of college that I just never could have imagined and it happened so fast. Those stories can wait until later, but the truth? My self esteem was crazy low. Friendships were drifting apart, UAB campus was extra overwhelming and I felt like an outsider in most circles. I hadn't yet become confident in being different so I slapped on a pair of heels and a cute dress and tried to match the energy of the other girls on campus. I spent a lot of time either cooped up in my dorm or in my best friends dorm the floor above me. My roommates were alright with the exception of one who was a sophomore who barely said two words to me on a weekly basis. She basically crushed all of my dreams of having a roommate to share dinners with and go out on the town. Yeah....that was a wrap. At the end of the day everything that happened, college started to feel like a blur. I got into a serious relationship the summer after my freshman year and I kind of used that as my cover up for my true feelings and never looked back. I equated relationship with

happiness and so I skated through college without as much as a blip on the map for anyone. My friends, my parents, my teachers, classmates, band mates, etc. I used band as a distraction and when I got to grad school, it was so intense, i didn't have time to talk about how I was feeling.

Why am I saying all this? Each stone I gained in college was weathered by a storm. I had so many storms in college that many people have no clue about. As Mental Health Awareness Month comes to a close I want to tell college students, I SEE YOU. College is one of the most difficult times in life and not many may realize it. College students oftentimes master the art of burying themselves in school work and college parties. This series in my blog will be called S.T.O.N.E.S. While it will be one of the hardest stories of my life to tell, this is a time period in the life of a young adult that helping professionals ignore. I work with foster youth and many times, the most difficult transition in the life of a foster youth is between 19-25 years old. This is the time they are preparing to age out, age out, start college, sometimes have a child, and go out on their own. often without little to no support. I think about my life and how I likely may have succeeded in taking myself out of this world without the support I had. HONESTLY. This is MY truth and I am speaking it to let college students know.....I SEE YOU... TO BE CONTINUED.

This is a journey....S.T.O.N.E.S.