Seeking Identity: Exploring Who I am as a Helping Professional

#JesusChick #Wife #NewMom #BoyMom #HelpingProfessional

It's 2018. Two years ago I was crazy busy with work. Every summer for the past 4 years I was Camp Director for a camp for older youth in foster care in both June and July. It's a hectic season surrounded by a ton of events. My husband was in his last couple of months of school (Well both of us were, haha, wives do you feel me!) and we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Things were just crazy and I felt very closed in as if I were just going through the motions. Still rocking things at work, I was always in my element in doing things for other people, especially the teens I served everyday. There were not many other things that I enjoyed more than that.

Fast forward. It's 2019. Typing this blog, finally getting to it after fighting with my son to get him calmed down for the past 4 hours. I had just finished up my second week back at work, which had been just completely devastating for me after just 6 weeks home with my little nugget. The consolation came from my husband who chose to work from home AND care for our son for a couple of months at least so we wouldn't have to put him in daycare. It was one of the things that kept me from completely freaking out! I found myself in such a different mindset that year. Still going through the motions of kicking butt at being a boss, still planning for camp, still going to be camp director, but my mind was with my husband and son. Family has always been extra important to me. I love my husband very much, however I will be honest, I can't say that I always made my relationship a priority over the work before Nehemiah was here. I stayed on the road for work across the state, advocating for teens in foster care. At least once a week I am caring for someone else's child. Things felt SO different NOW!!

Hence the hashtags. Since we live in a world of hashtags. I now see myself in a completely different light and I am starting to give myself permission to be okay with this. For the first part of my son's life I stressed in thinking that since he is now a priority over my teens in foster care that maybe they would lose out on a part of me since my focus was different. I had to miss a graduation or two, I had to attend a meeting by phone instead of in person. I have to say no a little more often. But you know what? They understand and you want to know why? Because I have spent years building relationships with these kiddos and helping them to understand who I am as a person. They don't feel abandoned because they are happy I have a son right along with me and oftentimes fuss if I am not focusing on him. It hurts them, let's be realistic, they don't want me to go. I have established. connection with them that confirms, I will be here for them.

Why am I sharing this journey? Because I know there are thousands of helping professionals out there wondering

1. Can they do it

2. How are they going to do it and/or

3. how are they doing it.

The answer is not simple. But the mission of Pro Dev with Ek is to educate, advocate and empower.

It's 2021 now. A pandemic happened and I wrote this blog post over the course of my life changes in my life. Now, I am a School Social Worker. I did something crazy and changed jobs in the middle of a pandemic and yes, even made a decision to leave a job caring for my beloved babies in foster care. It was hard, like really really hard. It still is, however I realize it was my time to go and when discussing it with my kids, they seemed to understand even though they didn't like it. The truth is sometimes we have to make a choice between what is best for them and what is best for us and our families and sometimes it's the latter. My hope is that within this series #NewMom #HelpingProfessional I can shed some light on our profession and ways we can have a family and do this at the same time! Let's figure this out together!

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