Feelings Charts for Children and Teens: Why They are Important

When I was a therapist at a residential facility, one of my greatest challenges was helping my teens learn how to express how they were feeling without fighting, disrespecting staff or running away among many other things. At times the messages they had received from adults and their peers in the past was these were the only ways to emote. I also oftentimes found they had very poor communication from media and their peers on how to emote without doing so explosively. I found myself exploring ways to better explain this to them at a level they could understand. The older we get, the harder it is for us to learn new ways to do things, but it isn't impossible. I was introduced to the concept of feelings identification and feeling's charts through my study and seeking more education in the curriculum of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Many other therapies have in ways replaced this way over time because it is very methodical, but I like to pull from different theories when working with the youth I serve because everyone learns differently. Saul McLeod in this article on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy describes what CBT is by definition:

CBT is based on the idea that how we think (cognition), how we feel (emotion) and how we act (behavior) all interact together.  Specifically, our thoughts determine our feelings and our behavior.

From this theory practice comes the concept of the Cognitive Triangle, which explains why I believe it is imperative a young person understand and identify their emotions using a Feelings chart. Below is a picture of a Cognitive Triangle I created, but this can be found anywhere if you Google and you can make one yourself! The thought portion is a whole concept by itself I will have to tackle in another blog post, but it is my belief that thoughts are a trigger for both our feelings and our behavior. Sometimes our thoughts, which of course are directly connected to our brain and the neuroscience of the brain are affected by outside environmental factors such as trauma, poor attachment, exposure to violence, abuse and neglect. That is why it is at the focal point. It controls all the rest of our functions. Which brings me to the point: Not all people will go through the cognitive triangle the same. It's the one thing I didn't like about CBT is that it at times makes assumptions that everyone reacts the same. I provide this information with the disclaimer that everyone experiences emotions differently. What is defined as happy for one person may not be the same for another. That's why when creating a Feelings Chart with youth, its important to ensure they have input and are able to create their own!

Okay back to the triangle. I will also talk about the behavior portion in another post. Feelings and emotions are the highlight. If a young person learns how to properly identify how they are feeling about a situation and/or person and they can express that in a manner that gets their needs met, they will be better able to conduct themselves in a variety of settings including but not limited to at home, at school and in the future at work. This will even be effective in future relationships.

I have been doing some research to explore where the concept of emotions originated from, but haven't had much luck. What I do know, however, is that emotions drive many of our actions so there is power in learning about them for yourself and then teaching children and teens how to do the same. Our kiddos respond emotionally to most everything they do. As we get older, our emotions evolve, change and mature. The brain connections that are formed start to create waves that become automatic. If young people learn how to respond to everything within the umbrella of depression emotionally, then it will be difficult for their brain functions to identify when things are happy or exciting or calm. According to an article by Dr. Neel Burton M.D.,

.... basic emotions evolved in response to the ecological challenges faced by our remote ancestors and are so primitive as to be ‘hardwired’, with each basic emotion corresponding to a distinct and dedicated neurological circuit.

This highlights the importance of teaching young people how to identify their emotions and in steps using the Feelings Chart. The one I created here and here are two different versions, but as I mentioned earlier you can easily Google Feelings Charts and find some to utilize. These, however should just be used as examples. I highly recommend creating time to do an activity with your child or teen and help them to complete their own including finding their own pictures and identifying their own physical descriptions so it will open up discussion and you can dispel anything that may be inaccurately perceived and help them to understand how others would see their emotional reactions (aka behavior).

I am going to do a part II of this blog to go more in depth on how to host a Feeling Chart party with you kids and teens!