Therapy: A Strategy for Self Care for a Struggling Helping Professional

Today I had my first counseling appointment. It has taken me YEARS to gather up the courage to finally take that step for myself. I didn't know what to expect. For those other helping professionals out there, you can imagine how difficult it is as a therapist myself to think about allowing someone else to do what I have done with others for so many years. Allowing someone to dig into my deepest darkest secrets and sheltered emotions is a MAJOR step. Risks of crying my eyes out for an hour straight and just the requirement of being vulnerable freaks me out. My only consolation? This person has no idea who I am. Doesn't know me past the point of this counseling office. So.... I took the leap.

How did I get here? Well firstly I had a baby a month ago and things were becoming overwhelming and I felt myself spiraling. I just didn't want that for my son, for my husband, for my family and most of all for me. I have been looking for a long time, for someone who has professional standards like me, older, more like my mom because I can't with these new counselors (I am sorry but I said I was picky, I will mentor but not let you handle my mental health!), someone who can talk God and the Bible with me and most importantly...someone who looks like me! This was part of the hold up for me finding a therapist. Firstly, I know most of the African American therapists in the city already and that was not about to happen. Second, there aren't even that many available around me. This made me sad and made me think at the same time. I just want someone who understands that my culture, my skin color, my upbringing and the dynamics of my family all have a MAJOR impact on my mental health and truthfully I don't want to have to spend my hour trying to explain that to someone when I have so many other things going on. But anyways...those are some MAJOR reasons why it took so long. I talk about these reasons in a different blog. In this one, I want to talk about some of the revelations I discovered in my first session.

I discovered that finding a counselor and going to this session was going to help me with two things

1. someone to listen to me for once and

2. a way to provide myself with self care.

I may add yoga, Saturday farmers market shopping trips and weekly journaling to the mix. But this counseling is an outlet for myself that I know I always needed, but never made the effort to do for myself.

As helping professionals our goal is to help others. We want to be that shoulder to cry on, that listening ear. We are accessible to all. And most of the time we are that in our personal lives as well. I do not make intentional efforts to be that person, but most of the time I am. Being in tune to the emotions of others is both a blessing and a curse. I realized after my first session that I have an obligation to only one person in doing this.....and that's me. This is how I take care of myself regardless of what anyone says. What about YOU teacher, social worker, counselor, mental health professional, doctor, nurse, police officer??? When will you take care of YOUR mental health?

More to come on my journey! Stay tuned!