Lessons About Mentorship

Let me list a couple things I am grateful for:

1. God's discernment for me to know when a kid is crying for help

2. That people take me serious when I say a kid is in trouble

3. Kiddos who feel comfortable enough with me to tell me they don't want to live anymore

I know that last one is weird but I am grateful for it because when a young person trusts you enough to share that, then you surely know you can save their life before they take it in their own hands. I have faced this more times than I would like to admit in my career. Sometimes its just extra overwhelming to know that if you didn't step in that kid might be dead. Sometimes its overwhelming thinking how many kids are out there who don't have anyone to tell that to and how many of them do take their life because they didn't have someone to text them to say, how are you doing today?

I am a social worker, but I am a mentor, a surrogate auntee, an advocate, a stand in parent first. God didn't give me this gift for no reason. It's not glamorous or pretty. I don't always get to post on Facebook my smiling face with a kid saying "I did this today" What I do doesn't raise the big bucks. Christmas don't matter in my field of work because most of my kids are like "f Christmas" and "f those gifts." Those gifts don't mean crap if they can't spend the day with their family or at least with someone they love. I have to deal with people telling me they didn't pick a kid up to spend Thanksgiving with their family because "he needs to take more responsibility..." For thanksgiving maam? Who on this God's green earth had to be punished for not being responsible by withholding Thanksgiving. Even the craziest of family members get to act a straight fool at Grandma's house on Thanksgiving.

But I am convinced people just don't get mentor ship

. People sit in Big Brother Big Sister training about mentor ship where people tell them about their once a month contact and how they shouldn't miss that and give them suggestions on McDonald's or movie trips for 4 hours with a kid who has no one else to do this for them 20-30 days throughout the rest of the month. And what about my 20 year old foster kids, in their own apartments or dorms who have no one to visit when everyone else is leaving to spend time with family or do something fun for Spring Break or my 25 year olds who never really had anyone to go spend the holidays with for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas other than the other group home residents and staff. Every single day, I think about them. When the holidays come I send them more text messages and phone calls because I know its hard for them. And then there are those who just want to be left alone, to figure it all out. Sometimes my silent support is enough, just knowing that I am there.

My goal is to make sure that supportive adults really gain an understanding of what is needed. I think its easier for us as adults to sit back and enjoy our own lives, we forget about the turmoils of teenage years and early 20's. I have watched more adults turn up their noses at the idea of a kid smoking weed, sneaking out with their girlfriend, getting pregnant, ending up homeless, getting into fights, getting locked up when either they or their sibling or cousin or best friend were doing some of the same things years ago! There is nothing new about what young people are doing. The village changed from raising a child collectively to judgement and minimal support and guidance. I don't want to grow into a jaded person who thinks that kids can do no wrong and can't bounce back from the bad decisions of life. They just need to know I am going to be there.

But I can't do it ALONE. And there are many days I feel like I am doing this all by myself. Because there are days when 5 kids are in crisis and I can't be in five places at once and it makes me want to cry. And then I am sitting there across from other adults who seem to have NO CLUE why I am doing what I am doing and telling me I am out of line and disrespecting THEM. These kids need our help. We can't be complacent and uncaring anymore. More to come......

MENTORSHIP MATTERS