Finding "Balance": Social Worker Edition Pt. 1

I have many faults.

Some I am very aware of, others I am learning about and I am certain there are some that drive my husband bat crazy that I have no idea it is a fault!  

Either way there is one fault in particular that I have been working very hard on lately and I have been moved to write about it, likely by Jesus, but you know it could not be it could be me feeling bad because my husband is the one that catches the most of it and recently he has caught it bad. (Sorry babe)

So this blog is about a variety of things....foster care, education for helping professionals and mental health.  This post is about the latter two. 

My name is Ebone Kimber and I am a mental health professional who has her own mental health issues.  Now in grad school many things were labeled as "taboo" and they may or may not have taught against this, but they MAY have given me the side eye if I spoke outwardly about this because of this thing they over killed on called counter-transference.  From my understanding, it is the point when we as social workers and/or counselors get a little too burnt out and we start telling all our clients our business. 

Here is the technical definition from the online Social Work Degree Guide:

"the reaction to a client’s transference, in which the counselor projects his or her feelings unconsciously onto the client."

Now this is a fairly vague definition but in general terms this is when a professional utilizes his or her own feelings or experiences and projects them onto the client, which I think it is not ALWAYS unconscious, but I digress for the moment.  

Either way it is a slippery slope and for myself I have worked in the field a couple of years and I am well aware when I need to take a step back or I am getting way too involved.  What they DIDN'T teach us in grad school, however, is how DIFFICULT it would be NOT to experience counter-transference.

So back to my fault.  I CANNOT let things go! (Well I have gotten better)  I have such a hard time when there is something bothering me.  I have an ingrained need to help someone when they are feeling down, when they are having a problem, when they are in distress.  Which, I will point out, is a part of being a social worker, there is just a method to find balance!

So I should take a side note here and mention social workers have a Code of Ethics we follow created by the National Association of Social Workers.  I love it and I take it very seriously.  I am certain that other professions do have their own Code of Ethics as well.

With that being said, it leaves so much to be interpreted.  This is what I know to be black and white, an excerpt from Social Work Today:

As the NASW Code of Ethics says, “Social workers’ primary responsibility is to promote the well-being of clients. In general, clients’ interests are primary” (standard 1.01); and “Social workers should not engage in dual or multiple relationships with clients or former clients in which there is a risk of exploitation or potential harm to the client” (standard 1.06[c]).

So we don't need to be getting angry with our clients and NEVER EVER should we harm them,  those are deal breakers. But when it comes time to assist young people with their future, what about then?  How difficult I know for a fact it is to avoid becoming close with a young person despite knowing that once they leave your facility you will likely not be in contact with them again because that is the social work rule.  How difficult is it to avoid forming a parent like relationship with a young person who has NOBODY and is getting ready to leave the system and go out on their own.  How difficult it is to meet a mom of three kids who really is working hard and wanting to buy them gifts for Christmas because she didn't qualify or you all didn't get her signed up in time.  We sit at home and think about it.  Constantly.  We fret ourselves over it  I know I am not the only one.  So what do we do?  

Stay tuned for my next blog where I give you three ways I learned how to combat counter-transference and still help my clients.