Storytelling: Exploitation vs the Feel Good

Today someone came to my office asking about the possibility of some of the foster youth we currently mentor and provide leadership training for to attend a conference to speak about their stories. This isn't out of the ordinary, it is actually what we train them for, to be vessels for the benefit of themselves, their peers and the adults who serve them. I have been working with this group for over three years now and while it is a pleasure, it has various sides. This discussion doesn't only cover foster youth traveling and speaking about their story, it covers anyone who chooses the path of traveling the world sharing their own personal experiences and intricacies of their lives.

It is a worldwide phenomenon now, sharing one's story, tagging Ellen or the Today show with hopes of the opportunity for a couple of minutes of fame as people celebrate the wins and/or mourn the losses. Viral stories are the rave on all social media avenues. Getting more than 1,000 likes on a video post for a cause may possibly get you your own Go Fund Me account or an endorsement from a celebrity. What isn't discussed is the emotional toil telling one's story may have on an individual. I know this first hand because I have spent the past 3 years touring our state with current and former foster youth and have watched many different reactions to the pressures of "telling a story" of hard knocks, abuse and bringing oneself out of difficult situations. Everyone doesn't respond the same. And not just those I work with, I once painfully watched a video on a news station of twin girls who had been separated at birth being reunited for the first time and the amount of emotion was so overwhelming for me, watching them go through it on national television was painful.

In my own career I realize the value of the personal share, but I often found myself telling my co workers and the foster youth I work with, it has to be YOUR choice to share, never feel obligated to share your story. I feel it is very possible to get a point across of rising out of the difficulties of life without sharing every intricacy and continuously exposing oneself. What I told the person who came to my office is, the youth aren't ready. I have oftentimes painfully watch as they tell their stories to their peers and expose the emotion and pain they are still feeling due to the hardships in life.

I believe there should be boundaries in sharing. I also believe there should be preparation and consistent conversation about the sharing. I have guided the youth I work with through a strategic sharing leadership course to help them consider all emotions, thoughts and circumstances that may effect their experience with sharing. My next blog post will share some of the things we taught them.