#NewMom #HelpingProfessional How Breastfeeding Almost Broke Me and 5 Lessons I Learned

When I found out I was pregnant with Nehemiah, I was SO excited. I am 34 years old and have been waiting patiently on God to bless me with the opportunity to become a momma. I wanted to do all the things pro mom, including singing and playing music for my baby while he was in my tummy, talking to him, eating healthy so he could grow strong and healthy and breastfeeding.

I took the class at the hospital and did all the research. My mom even gave me a book that I partially read. I was so excited and nervous all at the same time. people would ask me, do you plan to breastfeed and I would say "That's the plan!" I thought of all the money we would save and I started making plans for when I would have to pump at work. I ordered my breast pump and patiently awaited my turn to try.

And then....my son came into the world AND HE WAS NOT HAVING IT! As soon as Nehemiah came out, the lactation consultant was right there shoving him into my breast and Lord my head strong son was like, uh what are you doing? So he didn't latch immediately and then we had some complications because he was smaller than expected and they were worried he wasn't keeping heat well. So we had to make some adjustments to skin to skin. Once we got to our room, we tried again and still Nehemiah was not having it. This is when I began to stress. The nurses kept telling me this is normal and that even though my milk wasn't coming through, sometimes it took a while and they offered us some supplemented donor milk which my son took really easily and seemed satisfied by. I kept telling myself, this is going to come, its going to be fine, even when I was pumping and hardly anything was coming out.

After several attempts from the lactation consultant with little success we went home with some formula with plans to try at home. I WAS SO OVERWHELMED! No one really ever told me, hey Ebone, its okay if this doesn't work out. So I kept beating myself up and at home it just got worse because I kept trying and trying and Nehemiah was just crying and crying until I gave him the formula and then he was happy and content and went about his business. I should have started praying from the beginning, but when I finally did, I got clarity and I started to relax and realized, Nehemiah had made his decision and I had to be okay with it! We tried Enfamil at first, but he just didn't respond to it as well, but he LOVED Similac! And that's what we have used ever since. We realized the powder gave him gas so we stuck with the ready to feed and it has just been the best.

So 5 lessons I learned in all of this:

1. Breastfeeding is not the only way to bond with your baby

2. Be honest with the lactation consultants in the hospital if you are overwhelmed

3. Let yourself off the hook if its not working the way you planned

4. PRAY

5. Your baby is going to tell you what is best for him/her, LISTEN and PAY ATTENTION

All in all, what I realized is that not having to pump at work was a plus because I was always on the go and my husband who stays at home with Nehemiah during the day was able to bond through bottle feeding and it just worked for our family. AND my son is happy, healthy and on track according to our doctor, So whatever works for your family DO IT!

Until next time!